Better than the Song by Zack Attack

Today we celebrate the 25th anniversary of crucial Sunday comic Calvin and Hobbes. At this point, Calvin and Hobbes has been gone longer than it was with us as an active strip, but it remains unparalleled in its juxtaposition of juvenile humor with legitimate social criticism. But most of all, it was a bridge that joined parents and children and help them understand one another just a little bit better. We were all reminded of the infinite possibilities that Calvin represented, those dreams that we stretched to attain, and the forces that would bring us back down to reality.

Who in 1985 could have guessed that the exploits of a boy and his stuffed tiger could speak so clearly to so many people; that thousands upon thousands of readers would be united in finding little bits and pieces of their lives mirrored in those three little boxes in the funny pages. We each have our own Hobbes--the full time foil (but part time snake charmer) for Calvin's antics; the straight man to ground us when our minds run a little too wild, and egg us on when we need to learn a lesson for our own good. Calvin and Hobbes, as characters, had a relationship with qualities from both brotherhood and friendship. Together, they involved themselves in any number of imaginative projects: parenthood approval polls, avant-garde snow sculptures, harrowing toboggan/Radio Flyer rides down hills and off cliffs, the exaggerated adventures of Spaceman Spiff/Tracer Bullet/Stupendous Man, epic battles of Calvinball, run ins with Rosalyn the baby sitter, or simply contemplating the complex world of grown ups. These are all things that we grapple with growing up, in one manner or another. Everyone has their version of Saturday mornings, jacked up on Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, reading Hamster Huey and the Gooey Kablooie. And who didn't join at least one version of G.R.O.S.S. in middle school, to ensure that the object of our affection thought that their mere presence would induce vomiting.

For his part, writer/illustrator Bill Watterson always made a big deal about protecting his creation from being tainted. He refused to sign autographs, or even really do interviews, claiming that both would trivialize what he (and many others) saw as precious. None of the copious amounts of Calvin merchandise is authorized by Watterson. That includes those frat boy tee shirts with the eponymous characters dancing in shades and PJs, and the hick stickers of Calvin pissing on the Chevy logo (or Ford, depending on your particular automotive leanings). In fact, the only official Calvin and Hobbes products, besides the books, are two monthly calenders (1989 & 1990), one tee shirt created in a run of one for the MOMA, and an educational book, Teaching with Calvin and Hobbes, which is long out of print and sells for several hundred dollars if you are lucky enough to find one for sale.

Calvin and Hobbes is unique in that, in its ten years of existence, it was always consistently funny, touching, whimsical, philosophical and endearing. It never dipped in quality. You can read and re-read the collections and they are still just as humorous and relevant as ever. We can still learn just as much from those familiar panels, see our own lives reflected back at us and find comfort in that. And even through there will probably never be new Calvin and Hobbes comic, we can just remember what we once had and how good it was. That doesn't make it mean any less. True friends are hard to come by.

Back to the Basics (Unnecessarily)

The Queers
Back to the Basement
Asian Man Records, Released November 16, 2010

This isn't really a bad release. Really--it sounds pretty much the same as most previous Queers albums. However, for a full length that is only 22 minutes long, Back to the Basement seems to be unnecessarily bogged down by filler. Had the Queers stripped it down to the most essential songs, this would have been a stellar six or seven song EP. "Don't Touch My Hat," "Keep it Punk," "I Knew GG when he was a Wimp," and the title track are all quality tunes, though they are certainly not breaking any new ground here. (When have the Queers ever changed their sound, though? Everything from 1990's Grow Up forward has been based on a pretty simply formula that has always worked for Joe Queer.) However, this album as a whole is flawed by lazy lyrics and a total lack of production quality. Again, the Queers have never had great production, but this sounds so raw that you have to wonder if there was anything done to these tracks following recording. With just a little more attention to the drumming and a tiny bit of extra effort put into the backing vocals, Back to the Basement would be a little less embarrassing. Basically, if you already love the Queers, this record is probably going to appeal to you. If this is your first experience with these grandfathers of pop punk, you should disregard this one and start with one of their classic albums--Love Songs for the Retarded or Beat Off would be my suggestions. These guys are making their annual appearance at the Barbary in January, so be sure to catch that. Show up early and shake your ass to NJ's own the Sheckies and the Apers (all the way from Holland!), both guaranteed to please if you are into that sort of thing.

the Queers
the Apers
the Sheckies
Asian Man Records
R5 Productions (for tix to the Barbary!)

Not Quiet Hearse Disorder, but Close

We can't hide the fact that our musical bias here at I Hope You're not Squeamish obviously leans towards the punk side of things. However, most of the people we associate with can't stand that kind of stuff. Included in that are our musician friends, who are constantly creating bands that expose us to music that we might not come across on our own.

You may remember back a little while ago where we profiled electronic duo Valerna, we admitted almost total ignorance of the genre and simply presented an honest assessment from an outsider's perspective. So it will also be with this installment, a review of NYC industrial/goth trio Limousine Syndrome. Let's quickly clarify that when we use the dreaded "g" word, we don't mean any of the postured, overly dramatic antics or costumes. Instead, Limousine Syndrome does the genre proud by employing a bleak and minimalist guitar sound paired with a unnerving, yet still soothing, voice, backed by deceptively simple programing and keys. This is a desolate, atmospheric experience. In other words, you aren't going to jam this on the way to the beach, but it is perfect for late night drives, periods of creative concentration or maybe even intense Ouija board sessions. "Little Mermaids" is probably the most compelling track that they have released so far. Its constant beat keeps the song moving forward and concludes with some interesting spoken word. "Covered in Leaves" and "Love to Hurt You" are both reminiscent of the quieter Nine Inch Nails songs, particularly "Leaves" with it's super creepy piano line. All of the tunes are linked by their intentionally arid approach.

These guys have a show coming up in NYC this weekend, Friday the 5th at Port 41. They are playing with some other goth/industrial/genre bending acts, but this is really a mixed bag of performers. We would recommend that you show up early to see Quimera Music, as she is certainly the other strong act on the bill. The boys in Syndrome promise us that they have an EP in the works that will be ready in the near future. In the meantime, you can check out their official webpage or their Reverb Nation site to hear some tunes, watch their video and keep an eye out for future shows. For fans of Pornography/Faith/Seventeen Seconds era Cure, Dead Can Dance, tragedy and isolation.

Limousine Syndrome
Limousine Syndrome Reverb Nation
Port 41

Quit Hoggin' the Covers!

Set times and the order of performers was unclear to me, so I was unsure how early to show up at the North Star Bar on Tuesday night. The show was sold out long in advance, so I knew no matter when I got there, it was bound to be packed. But it was a nice night out, so I headed out with enough time to ensure sure that I would not miss Teenage Bottlerocket, even if they played first. I had written off Reno, NV's Cobra Skulls as nonsense and had little to no intent on watching their set, but was glad that had I showed up early and they started playing several minutes later. The first fifteen minutes were great, real rockabilly type punk, with the stampeding drums and galloping bass lines. I was shocked at how much the country tinged tunes appealed to me. Following the barn burners, they slowed the pace down for a few minutes with some (comparatively) mellow, ska/reggae influenced tunes. They seemed to be unable to recover after that, and just kind of lost their groove which made their last few songs forgettable. I don't know that I could listen to a whole album by these guys, but they were entertaining live and I wouldn't be disappointed to see them open up another show in the future.

PS--What ever they pay their drummer, they should double it. Hands down, best percussionist of the night.

Up next were my inspiration for attending, Laramie, Wyoming's Teenage Bottlerocket. I hadn't seen Bottlerocket since they were on tour for 2005's Total and were supporting the Eyeliners. Unfortunately for them, not much has changed since then despite crafting two more rock solid full lengths. I was surprised that the crowd was not more into them given that their popularity would seem to have risen over the last few years. Fat Mike has certainly done right by these guys; NOFX has taken them on tour at least once or twice and Fat Wreck Chords promoted the shit out of They Came from the Shadows when it was released. However, Teenage Bottlerocket seems destined to be a perpetual opener. Sigh, always a bridesmaid... They played fast as hell, packing approximately a million songs into a half hour set, blazing through all their major "hits"--"Skate or Die," "In the Basement," "Blood Bath at Burger King," "Bigger than Kiss." (And a Bad Religion cover, in keeping with the night's theme) None the less, there were a lot of on lookers, at least compared with Cobra Skulls, so hopefully a few were converted by their stellar performance.

Since it was a "school night," my buddy and I left it up 'til last minute whether we would stay for headliners Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies. I didn't need to be completely useless the next to to see what is essentially punk karaoke of songs that you might normally be embarrassed to admit you like. But we were feeling energetic following Teenage Bottlerocket, so we figured, why not? But what is there really to say about seeing a cover band? It was fun and silly and better than most Tuesday nights. The songs were double timed (for the most part), with lots of retarded stage banter in between. Highlights included "Me and Julio Down by the School Yard," "Country Roads," "Blowing in the Wind," "Somewhere over the Rainbow," and "Rocket Man." I personally was disappointed that not one of the Barry Manilow covers made the list, but oh well. Since I didn't even know when I showed up if I would stay at all, I figure I have no room to complain. (Except about the guy behind me who kept shouting for Lagwagon songs. Really? Lagwagon? Not NOFX or Swingin' Udders? Lagwagon. OK, dude.) All in all, a fun night, particularly since the Gimmie Gimmies don't tour all that often.

PPS--I spotted Michael McDerrmont, drummer of the world famous Bouncing Souls punk rock band, which was extra cool. Jersey!

Up the Punx! (Social Security Checks)

Here is your limited time opportunity to get your hands on the new Face of Face single, "Should Anything go Wrong." The release of this single is probably just to calm down super fans (like myself) who have visiting their website daily in hopes of the long promised, fall release date of Laugh Now, Laugh Later, their first full length since 2002. Laugh Now, presumably being released on frontman Trevor Keith's Antagonist Records, has been pushed back to early 2011 (nicely coinciding with Face to Face's 20 year anniversary). If this lead single is a sign of things to come, we may see something a little different from the southern Cali crew. "Should Anything go Wrong" is much darker than your typical Face to Face fare, taking some of the more aggressive sounds off How to Ruin Everything and mixing them with the melancholy pessimism of Ignorance is Bliss. When lead vocalist Trevor Keith is singing, it sounds, lyrically and melodically, pretty par for the course, but musically, this almost sounds like it could almost be a Bronx song. As always, there is that intricate, Descendents inspired bass line, but gone are the echo laden, open, high toned guitars. Replacing that is a super fast, deeper, more driven guitar sound. It sounds like Keith has taken on the backing vocals as well, a change from previous albums. Of course, this is only one song and may in no way resemble the rest of the album cuts, but so far as singles go, this one's pretty solid. Perhaps Face to Face is adding a little stronger edge on this reunion effort, and that wouldn't necessarily be bad. Side note: Keith was on LA Ink to get tattooed with this phrase by Corey Miller, who also did the album art for Laugh Now, Laugh Later. Miller is also apparently responsible for the album title. Interesting. When the album is out, check back here for a full review.

If you have two minutes (literally) and nothing better to do, the world famous Queers punk rock music group has two tracks from their upcoming full length streaming on their myspace page. Seriously, for a band that have approximately 23,654 albums (most of which have the same 30 songs on them), both of their new tracks are under a minute long. "I Knew GG when he was a Wimp" is certainly the stronger and more creative of the two. Joe Queer once again name drops the Rat, the long defunct, but mucho beloved Boston punk club, and gives us his account of "how it really was." "Fucked in the Head" is just a dirty, throw away tune, nothing particularly memorable. Oh well. Back to the Basement, due out in a couple of weeks on Asian Man Records, could be a pretty short, snotty album if these tracks are any indication. Again, a full review to follow its release.

Also, Ben Weasel contributed an interesting piece to Carson Daly's show about panic attacks and agoraphobia. Also appearing on Carson Daly, Off!, Keith Morris' (of Black Flag and Circle Jerks) new band that sounds suspiciously like Black Flag in a good way. Off! have a boxed set of their 7"s coming out in November on Vice Records complete with cover art by Raymond Pettibon, who did much of the most iconic Black Flag imagery. Preorder from Interpunk, and you get a free button and patch. Get your hands on this; it's pretty vital. Not a bad week for old punkers. (and apparently Carson Daly too!)

Face to Face
The Queers
Asian Man Records
Ben Weasel on Carson Daly
Off!
Interpunk

Pitbulls and the Women who Love Them

In the on deck circle, our good friends at Pinups for Pitbulls. They have a serious event happening in the not too far future that anyone and everyone should attend. Saturday, October 23rd, they are holding one of their Pitbull Awareness Day seminars. In addition, this event will be the release party to celebrate the annual retro-model/bully-breed monthly calendar. This is going to be kind of big deal around here.

Originally slated as an all day event at a gentleman's club in south Philly, this has been moved to Shampoo Nightclub (North 8th Street and Willow, near the Electric Factory), and has been divided into two events. The first is an all ages event from 1PM to 4PM and will feature speakers, pinup girls, art, adoptable animals and of course, PfP's world famous bully-breed calendar. The night time part of this shin dig is 21+ and features some of the area's best known burlesque dancers/models and is being hosted by Shorty and Hercules of Animal Planet's Pit Boss. The ladies of PfP go way back with Shorty and his rescue (they were featured on the premier episode) and between the drinks, food and ladies, this party for a cause promises to be a good time for all who attend.

Besides rehoming bully-breed dogs in need, one of the most important issues that Pinups for Pitbulls pursues is campaigning against breed specific legislation. BSL are laws and ordinances, usually at the town/city level, that make illegal or restrict ownership of certain types of dogs. The problem with blanket legislation is that it punishes docile, well behaved, trained and friendly animals based solely on their breed. Furthermore, there is little evidence that this is even effective in preventing attacks, since small dogs are just as likely to bite. (Though, admittedly, a Chihuahua is less likely to do major damage. Hence why there are statistics and reports of Pitbull attacks, but not so much on hostile 12 pound breeds. Just because it doesn't make the five o'clock news doesn't mean that some of those pocket pet pooches aren't capable of inflicting pain.) Furthermore, BSL just furthers the myth that Pits, Rotties, Dobermans, etc. are naturally more dangerous dog, when there is absolutely no evidence to back this up.

Please, if your place of residence is considering this type of action, educate yourself about the reality of the situation, and encourage your local government to punish the crime, not the breed. (Or even dogs that simply look "vicious." Often times German Shepherds, Bulldogs, Mastiffs, etc. are swept into the "Pitbull" category, along with mutts of all descriptions.) Pinups for Pitbulls can provide you with copious amounts of information on the topic, both at their awareness seminar on the 23rd and through their website.

Pinups for Pitbulls
ASPCA info on Breed Specific Legislation

Nocturnal Aves and Cinema

Night Birds
Midnight Movies EP
No Way Records, released October 2010

This quick, low fi EP represents everything that makes a great four track punk record. The snotty, obnoxious vocals are loud and fast, and at times border on out of control. Though the guitar warbles like Dick Dale's, Night Birds neatly avoid the surf rock cliches that seem to be rising in popularity. (And declining in quality; let's face it, whenever a specific sub-genre becomes popular, there are only ever a handful of bands that do it well, just look at Celtic/Irish punk.)

On Midnight Movies, these young men from New Jersey/New York blend a very capable rhythm section with lyrics that are an overt homage to classic B-movie culture. The super bouncy bass and active drumming are the flawless back drop for tunes about chopping up bodies, blood and gore, and sci-fi daydreams. Night Birds manage to employ a nice variety in song structure. Even though there is a semblance of verse-chorus-verse, lyrically they keep things varied. Considering all four songs total less than six minutes, who wants to hear the chorus twice anyway? Like many bands of their ilk, Night Birds' smarter-than-your average-bear lyrics are hidden behind postured idiocy. Well done. For fans of Descendents, the Vandals, Showcase Showdown.

Two chances to see these guys in the near future, but Squeamies from Philly will have to take a trip over to the Asbury Lanes in Jersey to catch the madness. Saturday, October 23rd and Thursday, November 18th. Check out their facebook page for a little more details about the shows and the soon to be released Midnight Movies EP. Do yourself a favor--pick up this record and prepare to get infected.

Night Birds (facebook, for info and tourdates)
Night Birds (myspace, to listen to some of their older tracks)
No Way Records
Asbury Lanes

Thoughts on 9.11

Nine years gone by and it's still at the front of everyone's mind when we hear a plane flying lower than normal. 108 months we have spent worrying about al-Qaeda, anthrax, Abu Ghraib, enemy combatants in Guantanamo, the cost and supply of oil, and the safety of our friends and loved ones deployed in military service. 468 weeks we have spent planning, executing and analyzing our military actions in Afghanistan and, unfortunately, Iraq. 3285 days in which we have had the opportunity to make researched, educated decisions for our own protection and to benefit the global community.

Yet even after all that time, the ignorance and knee-jerk reactions to Muslim people, people who are simply of Middle Eastern descent, and people who may just look like they are from that part of the world has probably increased. Prior to September 11th, I think that most people thought little to nothing about the Middle East. Our first war in Iraq was a distant, hazy memory to the general public and only a small percentage of the population had ever heard of Osama bin Laden. Now all of this is common knowledge, but the spread of misinformation, truth tainted by emotion and outright lies has dominated the headlines and airwaves and the hearts and minds of the majority of our citizens.

Take, for example just the last few months and weeks. Terry Jones (who I refused to dignify with the title of Reverend) and his dingbat church in Florida love America so much that they want to burn 200 copies of the Qur'an on 9.11, despite being warned by the military and by the secretary of state and the President that this will result in retaliation against Americans abroad. Way to go, numb-nuts. That is some true patriotism if ever I saw it. Now this class "A" loon is in NYC to see what he can do to influence that particular situation.

Could we remember that it was a perception of us as intolerant that lead the Islamic extremists (some need reminding that these were not your average, everyday Muslims that perpetrated the attacks) to careen into Manhattan. Could we look back on this tragic day and use it as an opportunity to heal wounds and remember that we are all human beings who need to treat each other with respect and understanding? Could we possibly, just for once, take the high road and not stoop to the same reactionary bullshit that facilitated this event in the first place? No no no no no. Instead, we are going to look like a bunch of ignoramuses who are unable to embrace anything outside our own experience.

With that in mind, we here at I Hope You're not Squeamish say build mosques in NYC. Build them 100 stories tall and thirty city blocks wide. What better way to say to the world, "We know that the individuals associated with 9/11 are not representative of the Muslim world in general." There is no doubt that this will not sit well with some survivors of the September 11th attacks or their families or their friends. There will be some hostility and some deeply hurt feelings and all those feelings are perfectly justified. No one, not President Obama, not Mayor Bloomberg, not ol' Mikey Squeamish wants to do anything to diminish or tarnish the memories of those who died in New York, Washington DC and Shanksville, Pennsylvania.

But I can think of no fate better for Ground Zero than to be shrine, a beacon that shines throughout the United States and the world, for tolerance, understanding and peace. Despite the fact that our President and most of our government urge the American public to use today to reflect on the tragedy of September 11th, 2001, and to use those feelings to try to rekindle the spirit of unity we all felt that afternoon, we are only as strong as our weakest parts. If what the world sees are a group of Americans that are united by a blind hatred of Islam, a slice of the citizenry that uses 9/11 to perpetuate racism and bigotry, that will continue to be our legacy. Is that how we want our children and our children's children to remember us?

I would argue that in the course of American history, September 11th may go down as a more influential event than Pearl Harbor, the two of which it is almost impossible not to compare. However, following Pearl Harbor, the United States entered into the already on going World War II, with the full support of its citizens and the approval of most of our allies. 9/11 has only seen the country more deeply divided than ever--Tea Party versus bleeding heart, red state versus blue state, the richest of the rich versus the the poorest of the poor. George W. Bush and Barack Obama will both be remembered as controversial Presidents that were detested by half the country.

We must, must, must move forward from here. When the 10th anniversary comes around next year, the whole world will be watching. We must choose our words and actions wisely and be an example for people everywhere that from the ashes of tragedy can come true unity, and that patriotism is not an excuse for hatred and ignorance, but a path that leads to the benefit of all.

Summer Breeze Makes Me Feel Fine

Dry Feet
Philadelphia Beach
Self Released 2010

Zoltan predicts an indian summer thanks to Philadelphia surf punks, Dry Feet. Their debut album, Philadelphia Beach, is a must for all you rocking baggies while you're out shooting the curl. These dudes are straight out of the garage, devoid of any pretension or sense of irony. They are just putting out some good time tunes to inspire good times. Comprised predominately of jangly instrumentals mixed wisely with a couple of up tempo punk tunes, Philadelphia Beach may not be breaking any new ground here. But Dry Feet stick with what they know and since most songs clock in at under two minutes, even the less memorable songs work. As it's name suggests, "Slow Baby Slow" is the quiet tune on this record, a nice little jaded ditty about losin' your main squeeze. "I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing" is a rockin' ode to excess. Add in a few made up monikers and an excellent, classic looking, surf inspired logo, and you have the best summer record released this summer. This shit was done on a budget and they are still givin' it away for free. Find these guys when they play near you. Hang Ten!

Dry Feet

Sowing the Seeds of Utopia

It's official. After much hype and rumor surrounding their shared bill at Chicago's Riot Fest, Bad Religion will be bringing their 30th Anniversary tour Philly's way when they play the Electric Factory with none other that New Jersey's Bouncing Souls opening up. The show isn't until October 19th, but that just gives you more time to spike your 'hawk just right and get your bondage pants dry cleaned 'cause this is gonna be punk as shit. Bad Religion just put out the free 30 Years Live album and have a full length set to be released in September, pretty productive for a band older than many of their fans. Mr. Greg will have both of his books for sale on this tour (they are available as a package with the new album, ch-ch-check out their website); he is a PhD as well as a college professor so learn yourself something! Also on this tour are Off with their Heads (who may or may not officially have an exclamation point in their name) who are just so, so average despite the hype they have gotten recently. Look, I'm not trying to bash on OWTH here, because they are probably better than average, but there are a slew of bands that are doing the earnest, gruff, hard drinkin' sound these days and it just makes it so much less appealing. Anyway, that just means a little extra time for cocktails in the balcony before the Bouncing Souls take the stage and destroy the place and Bad Religion plays amongst the rubble. Want to save a few dollars on tix? If you pay cash at the box office, there are no service charges! Have fun!

Bad Religion
the Bouncing Souls
the Electric Factory