The finest filth and fury in Philadelphia, since 2009
Like what we are doing here? We want to hear from you. Hate what we are doing here? Well, we really want to hear from you.

email at ihopeyourenotsqueamish@gmail.com

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Your Death Therapy Cured Me, You Genius!

So despite our desire to continue, and efforts to do so, this will pretty much be the end of I Hope You're not Squeamish.  We want to thank Philly for all the inspiration; we appreciate the opportunity to hang out for the last two years.  We hope that you, our few readers, have found some music or performance space that you enjoyed, or that you just chuckled reading one of our rants.  Please remember the charities, particually the local ones, the we have championed for the last 100 weeks.  Please continue to support them so that they may provide the valuable services and make our city a little bit better. 

When we move on to a new project (there are some ideas in mind), information will be posted here.  The events calendar will simply run out; we won't be adding anything new to it.  If you want to check back periodically, you will have to adjust your bookmarks back to www.ihopeyourenotsqueamish.blogspot.com as we will not be renewing the current .org domain when it expires.  Timing of that change will be posted in advance.  If you want to keep in touch, the ihopeyourenotsqueamish@gmail.com email addy will stay active and will be monitored.  We would love to hear from you. Thanks a lot, Squeamies!  Keep it gully.

love, yer pal,
mikey squeamish

Thursday, August 4, 2011

In Brief: Our Unannounced Hiatus

Hey there, Squeamies!  This has pretty much been our longest break without a post, but we have been disgustingly busy uprooting our headquarters from the Roxborough location where we started to our new, more spacious digs down here on the East Falls/Germantown border.  So, sorry that we abandoned y'all without a the courtesy of a simple note to let you know where we were going, but we are back.  We have a inspired story that we are working on that will be posted in the next couple of days--it's one of our most super favorite ever!  Plus, we are going to add a whole buttload of events to the calander--lots of things coming up that you should check out.  Keep your eyes peeled and click on that bookmark this weekend. 

In the meanwhile, we have a show for you kids to attend that we shamefully just became aware of this morning.  Direct Hit!, those unhinged pop punksters from Milwaukee (Algonquin for "the Good Land" and the only major American city to elect three socialist mayors) are playing the Cracker Factory here in Philly, Tuesday the 9th.  Come and help them celebrate the release of Domesplitter, their first full length.  Made up of re-recorded versions of their extensive demos, Hit! is back as a streamlined trio (with guests on some tracks).  The Cracker Factory is a house show, so you have email the fine folks at Dead Industry to get the addy.  If you can't make it out to the performance to purchase it in person, do yourself a favor and pick up the record from Kind of Like Records for only 10 bucks, or you can download it using the name your price option.  Have fun and be safe if you are venturing out to the Cracker Factory!  We love you!
Fuck you!  Get Pumped!
 

Dead Industry
Direct Hit!
Direct Hit!  Bandcamp (for download)
the Cracker Factory  
Kind of Like Records

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Nick Goes to Nashville



Nick 13
"Nick 13"
Sugar Hill Records
Released June 8, 2011




In order to give a review to this album, we must once again take a look at a genre from an outsider perspective.  Normally the leader of southern California psychobillies Tiger Army, as a solo artist Nick 13 is exploring his roots in traditional country music.  These tunes are an intentional throwback to the classic sounds from the 40's and 50's like Porter Wagoner and Slim Whitman.  Employing a lap steel guitar, brushed drums and the occasional fiddle, it is a far cry from Sugarland or Toby Keith or your pick of any pop country artist rotating on CMT today.  Instead, we are treated to some quiet, stoney introspective songs that explore Nick's softer side. References to Victrola, Route 101 in Cali, tattoos, disappointment, gambling and a wandering spirit show dedication to crafting something authentic and original, not just a cheesy, tongue-in-cheek reproduction.  Noticeably absent from this album is the dark, goth imagery that goes hand-in-hand with Tiger Army, despite the pair of songs redone from TA's albums. Even those have been given a thorough overhaul so their tone is completely in keeping with the theme of his solo debut.  Pretty much every track on here is a winner. 

On Tuesday night, Nick brought his road show to Johnny Brenda's in Fishtown.  We missed the beginning of the set because of extraordinarily bad directions from google maps (thanks a lot).  However, we saw enough to be unbelievably impressed.  He played the album plus two covers, but not the obvious choices that we predicted, instead choosing to expose the audience to lesser known artists (at least to the punk kids in attendance, myself included) like Ernest Tubb.  The show was not overly crowded and hence super intimate.  Sonically, it sounded exactly like the record.  Nick looked the part playing fifty percent of the show in a black suit, turquoise dress shirt and white neckerchief (no one could blame him for shedding the coat halfway through), with the rest of the band in varying degrees of hillbilly gear.  Nick's upright bass player was off the hook, caressing his instrument and dancing around with her like his square dance partner for the evening. Because of the size of the stage at JB's, the lap steel player was forced to the back of the stage with the drummer, but his sound was undoubted second only to Nick's voice as the predominate creator of ambiance for the evening. 

Monday, June 20, 2011

Milo goes to Philadelphia

One half of our feline mascot team, Milo Squeamish, just overflowed his litter box.  Announced this morning is the very first installment of Riot Fest East, Saturday, September 24th at Penn's Landing.  Traditionally, a three day event at a variety of Chicago clubs, several of the headliners have been announced as participating in the first attempt at taking the show on the road.  Of course, the (recently) reclusive Descendents (featuring Milo's namesake) are the biggest draw to this event, but with the Suicide Machines, Dead Milkmen, Hot Water Music and Naked Raygun in tow, this is a pretty big deal around here.  Not all of the support has been confirmed yet, but those that have are a whole bunch of other bands that people who are way more punk than me are going to be into (X, Samiam, Weston, Plow United).  A few locals (other than the Milkmen and Weston) are joining the festivities, most notably the Menzingers and the Holy Mess.  This seems to be dominated by a lot of bands that are either broken up or only play sporadically.  That is probably a good thing since standing outside in the sun all day at Penn's Landing can be a serious pain in the ass.  And since the headliners announced so far are pretty much all aimed at fans whose average age is twice that of Warped Tour attendees, they are making sure it is worth the old folk's time and effort.  Riot Fest promises that other acts are soon to be announced.  There are a couple of performers from the midwest installation that we would love to see come along for the ride, especially Helmet and ALL, who are performing in Chicago with all three of the gentlemen who have filled the lead vocalist position.  There have been rumors flying around that a Danzig fronted Misfits are going to be the big surprise announcement for Chicago, and if that's true, perhaps they may make their way to Philly? (I mean, it's not Jersey, but you can see Camden from Penn's Landing)  However, even if no one else notable was added to this bill, it would still be a solid lineup and worth the effort of getting crispy burned and paying $40 or more.  Tickets go on sale this Friday, June 24th.  We almost always try to hook y'all up with a way to avoid corporate surcharges, but since this is livenation and Penn's Landing, I don't this there is any way around it.  Sorry. 


 Riot Fest
Descendents
Suicide Machines (not up to date)
the Menzingers
the Holy Mess

Thursday, June 16, 2011

In Brief: Nick 13

Just a quick note to remind you that Nick 13's show at Johnny Brenda's is still not sold out. The Tiger Army frontman is touring to support his new self-titled album of country tunes. We figure he will probably play the album in full (which includes two Tiger Army songs that have been totally redone) along with a cover or two--Zoltan predicts Johnny Cash, Hank Williams or Willie Nelson. There is only one opener so it's not going to be a late night. We will be doing a combination record review and show review since they will be remarkably similar, but trust us, Nick's record is the real deal as far as classic country is concerned. The show should be great if the youtube videos are any indication. Don't miss this chance to see a great musician who rarely tours, especially on the East Coast, in a pretty intimate venue. Hit up R5's box office at AKA Music to get your tix without a surcharge.

Nick 13
Johnny Brenda's
R5 Productions
Sugar Hill Records
Tiger Army

Friday, June 10, 2011

Felines Found!

Today we present a special guest post from Milo and Kamala Squeamish. (Today is Milo's 10th birthday!) Our mascot felines want to remind you all that June is Adopt a Shelter Cat Month.

According to the ASPCA, four million cats and kittens enter shelters every year. That's a lot more kittens than they can show on those tear-jerker public service commercials with Sarah McLaughlin tugging at your goddamn heartstrings. So imagine a channel that is dedicated to running that all day long, everyday with different animals each time. That is the reality. There are a couple of programs new to this year that offer you different ways to participate. If you are able to take in a cat, more than 100 shelters nationwide have agreed to drop their normal adoption fees for the month. Fresh Step will donate $1 for every "Like" on their Facebook page, so even if you aren't in the position to welcome a new kitty into your home, there are things that you can do!

We feel like there are a couple of topics that for some retarded reason remain "controversial," though the right answers are actually quite simple and most of the controversy can be reduced to willful ignorance. Combined with the fact that even progressive vets have a difficult time talking straight about some of these issues, they are often treated delicately. Not us--we are going to club you over the head with the truth. We stand by this as realistic and carefully considered advice for the well-being of the animal, without sparing the feelings of those who feel otherwise.

*Spay or neuter. Just do it. Don't contribute to the already overpopulated felines. You are not a breeder, and even if you do manage to find homes for all your kittens, you are reducing the chance of already sheltered cats being adopted.

*Feed a good food. Foods that have corn as their first ingredient are shit. Quality meals will reduce the risk of disease in the long run, even though it is more expensive up front. Look for chow that has a protein listed at the top. Buy it at a pet store, not the supermarket, if you can--sometimes they even stock locally made foods. (For example, here in Philly look for Annamaet.)

*Microchip your cat--it is cheap and can be done while your animal is down being fixed and can help when Professor Whiskers darts out the door unexpectedly. On that note, don't intentionally let your cat go outside. In the city and suburbs, they have to contend with traffic and in more rural areas, wild animals (birds of prey, larger felines and canines, etc.). You are just asking for a shorter time with your pet if you allow your cat to wander.

*Don't fucking declaw your cat. It is cruel and painful. You are not just removing the claw, you are cutting off bone as declawing removes the toe from the last knuckle on. It is a serious surgery that can take weeks to recover from, and if not done properly, can leave your cat with deformed and sensitive feet for life. And of course it hurts! Don't let insensitive assholes tell you that cats don't feel any pain from this, they do!
If you are hellbent on having a declawed cat, wait until one that has already had this unnecessary surgery is up for adoption.

*Finally, be sure that you are prepared financially for the short term and long term costs of having a cat. If they need any procedure beyond normal yearly vet visits, the bills can add up quickly. Medical care for animals is expensive, just as it is for humans. That being said, it is amazing what can done for your cat's health these days--almost any procedure done for a human can be done for a cat, as long as you can afford it. You owe it to the animal that depends on you to at least have modest savings budgeted for emergency care.

Much, much more information written by animal care professionals can be found at the links below. Please be sure to read about all the in and outs, what-have-yous of adopting a shelter animal. If you can't even take the time to do the research in advance, perhaps pet ownership isn't for you. When you take in an animal you are responsible for its quality of life. It is not something that you give away when you move or because you have a second kid. Your pet trusts you with its life, you better earn that trust.

American Human Association (nationwide)
ASPCA (nationwide)
Alley Cat Allies (nationwide)
Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society (P.A.W.S.) (Philadelphia)
Stray Cat Blues (Philadelphia)
Kitty Adoption Team (K.A.T.) (Philadelphia)
Annamaet

Friday, June 3, 2011

In Brief: Night Birds

We are pleased to introduce a new feature here at I Hope You're not Squeamish. "In Brief" will cover items that, while we may not go into as much detail as our normal features, deserve more than a link on the right. So, without further ado...


Those handsome and fearless gentlemen in Night Birds have been kind enough to release a track from their upcoming debut full length record. Fresh off the heels of the popular Draw the Night Birds Naked Contest, "Landfill Land" is one hot tamale. Clocking in a less than two minutes, it's a crash course in hardcore surf punk and is probably pretty representative of their expected-sooner-rather-than-later album the Other Side of Darkness. Keep your eyes peeled for it in the not too distant future on Grave Mistake Records. Also, these lunatics have decided to play a show at the Asbury Lanes and do the new record front to back, along with several other Jersey bands that are going to do the same thing. This is all ages at a bowling alley, so you definitely want to be there. For those of you not in the Jersey/Philly/NYC triangle, you too are in luck 'cause the Birds are out there sleazing it up on the Escape From New York tour, so check that shit out. We can't get off Night Birds' jock these days, but Fuck You, Surf Rules.



Night Birds
Grave Mistake Records
the Asbury Lanes

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

No Laughing Matter



Face to Face
Laugh Now, Laugh Later
Antagonist/People Like You Records
Released May 17, 2011





Though they haven't had a release since 2002, Face to Face manages to remain on pretty much the same trajectory that was interrupted almost a decade ago.  Following a string of solid releases in the mid to late 90's, Face to Face took a serious side-step on 1999's Ignorance is Bliss, deviating from their fairly straightforward punk tunes and embracing a more melancholy, mid-tempo sound.  The result was that while they still retained the muscle of their punk records, they found a way to be salient and introspective. A difficult line to walk, the risky decision surely cost the band some of its fan base, but it marked a new era for Face to Face.

Laugh Now, Laugh Later manages to bring the best elements of Face to Face's previous efforts, but tempers them with just enough variety to give the songs some drama.  There are plenty of "Hey!" and "Ohh-Way-Ohh" backing vocals and the super clean, chimey, open-sounding guitar is so familiar.  But the band continues their trend of not neatly fitting into stereotypes by writing more complex and challenging songs. These sound like tracks written by men, not punks.  Trever Keith has really come into his own as a songwriter by not (always) falling victim to the easy rhyme, but still not straying from the everyman blues that has consistently made up his lyrics.  "I Don't Mind and You Don't Matter" is probably the highpoint of the album, though it sounds like Keith might have burned two of his song titles on that one.  Particularly grabbing is the nonchalance with which he delivers lines like "I guess I should be sorry. I'm not."  "All For Nothing" and "Bombs Away" along with the two singles, "Should Anything Go Wrong" and "It's not All About You," are all fantastic tunes that sound exactly like Face to Face, each with their little twist.   [And we called it when we said the first single "Should Anything Go Wrong" sounded like the Bronx.  (See Up the Punx! (Social Security Checks))--None other than Joby J. Ford did the engineering for the album.]  Topped off by magnificent artwork by Corey Miller, Face to Face really deliver an excellent package.

Face to Face
People Like You Records
Corey Miller

Monday, May 16, 2011

Marathon Metal


Playing to a ridiculously packed house at the Electric Factory last Tuesday night, the Deftones challenged their audience to a test of endurance. You almost have to train for an event like this. Two hours long and approaching 25 songs, they punished the onlookers with the burly, thick superlow bass and down-tuned guitar shaking the whole venue. "Diamond Eyes" and "Rocket Skates" opened the night, followed by a slew of songs from 1998 or earlier. They continued on in that fashion for most of the night, tackling two or three song blocks from each of their records, the exception being Saturday Night Wrist which got only one selection. (A shame. That album is painfully awesome.) Dillinger Escape Plan vocalist Greg Puciato came out to sing the second part on White Pony's "Passenger," and following a feedback/speaker noise drenched five minute break (guitarist Steph Carpenter didn't even bother leaving the stage), they ripped through "Root," "Nosebleed," and, of course, "7 Words" to close out the night. At this point, the audience had been bested by the band, and considering the band made sure this was the most menacing portion of the set, the crowd could not muster the energy they had at the start of the show.

Accompanying much of the evening was a film playing on the backdrop. Grainy, sometimes overexposed and out of focus, it was a breathtaking horrorshow. It was like watching someone channel surf through nothing but late night B movies. The juxtaposed images, weird enough to be way open to interpretation, created frankensteins from pulp characters. Deftones openly admit that they strive to make the prettiest heavy music that they can, and coupled with the abstract movie, the band provided a chance for mediation, reflection and free association--probably the only band that came out of the nu metal scene encouraging you to think. Though Deftones remain guilty by association, they have long since moved on from their rap-rock roots forging ahead in a direction all their own.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Follow Your Nose

OK Philadelphia. Whatever the fuck you had planned for Friday night has now been officially canceled, freeing all of you to take advantage of a limited time experience. For one night only, surf punkers Dry Feet are teaming up with Philly's finest sleazy popsters the Tough Shits. This magnificent double bill is happening at a pretty new venue, so you are going to have to do a little (just a little) research to find your way there. You may remember that Dry Feet self released last summer's breezy dream Philadelphia Beach (see our review here) and the Tough Shits have been keeping us knee deep in gritty, throwback rock for several years now. Dry Feet have a new 7" out on Evil Weevil Records (though it contains no new songs, Boo!) and the Shits are starting to become more active after a little rest (maybe their new album will come out soon?) making this the hottest ticket in town. So get ready to leave real life behind this Friday night. Bust out your oversized magnifying glass, deerstalker hat and calabash pipe to find your way to this reelin' and rockin' show. Have fun, be safe and responsibly enjoy this new performance space. Don't be a dunce and miss out--we promise that there will be no better way to start your spring weekend.

the Tough Shits
Dry Feet
Evil Weevil Records

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Weaseling Out of a Comeback

Screeching Weasel
First World Manifesto
Fat Wreck Chords, Released March 15, 2010

What a weird couple weeks in which I have attempted to post a review of this record. I picked up the album on Tuesday the 15th, and gave it a couple of spins with an open mind, as I am certainly not as passionate about Screeching Weasel as many of the other bands that we review. (They are much more Mrs. Squeamish's territory.) But I felt like this was an important album to consider--it's been more than a decade since any new music was released under the Screeching Weasel moniker. This was Ben Weasel's big comeback after releasing some moderately well received solo albums. I wasn't really in a rush to post my thoughts; I knew that any number of outlets received advanced copies and had reviews up prior to the album's release. So I simply started jotting down notes as I listened to the record a couple of times, content with publishing my two cents within a week of the album's release.

But then it happened. Three days later, at the Fat Wreck showcase at South by Southwest, Ben took several swings at a female audience member, who supposedly was throwing ice at him, or spitting at him, or both, depending on who you ask. Then, in a blind rage, Ben tried to connect with one of the female club owners who was on stage trying to intervene. I have no interest in being another blog that puts up the embarrassing video--you can google it your lazy self if you want to see it (again, probably). Nor do I want to put up a public scolding of a grown man who knows that he stepped way, way over the line and was consequently left by his band and had to cancel the tour that accompanied the release of First World Manifesto.

It became hard to separate the man from the music, even though the album is pretty ok. Sure, some of Vapid's back up vocals sound suspiciously cleaned up and Riverdales-y or Methadones-y. SW has never really had that super produced sound, but he lays down an awesome solo on "Totem Pole." And Ben Weasel is no lazy lyricist--in fact, the album is more enjoyable having read the lyrics in the liner notes. Ben stuffs a lot of words into his lines, and drops some excellent five dollar words and phrases, beginning with his diatribe about the current state of punk, "Follow Your Leaders," through the obligatory quasi-political song "Come and See the Violence Inherent in the System." Joe Queer contributes some nice Ba-Ba-Ba backing vocals on "Creepy Crawl." In general, lots of shit talking, lots of pessimism, but what else is new? Throughout his career, Ben has purposely played up his curmudgeon status to his own benefit--who wouldn't expect a SW album chock full of insults? But it's hard to listen to him sneer about punks who are "frat boys with sillier haircuts," when he himself acts like one.

So Ben's out of control and unacceptable treatment of the fairer sex has now lead to the (millionth) disbanding of Screeching Weasel, not to mention the cancellation of his three day anniversary fest in Chicago. Philly also loses out because tonight's now terminated date at the Troc would have been the first major club gig for everyone's favorite Jersey/NYC punk/surf quartet, Night Birds. Tinging their always-on-the-brink-of-disaster punk with a heavy dose of surf guitar, the Birds are getting ready to release their first full length, and have just put out a comp of their earlier, vinyl only material on Grave Mistake. With both of these dropping this year, as well as their first gigs in Europe, 2011 is going to be a big year for Night Birds. Right now, the Troc would have been a huge space for this band, but don't be fooled--these guys take being in a band seriously, and if they can continue that commitment through the year, they are going to be moving out of the basement/art space shows quickly. It's just a shame that Philadelphia lost an early opportunity to catch this up and coming act.

Night Birds
Grave Mistake Records

We'll just take one quick opportunity to post some links for female victims of violence. If you need help, please realize that there is assistance available. If you know a lady who needs relief, please help her find the resources she needs. These places can assist in helping you find somewhere to stay, have to handle your relationship with your abuser, get therapy or almost anything else that you may need.

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
Women in Transition
the Anti-Violence Partnership of Philadelphia

Friday, February 18, 2011

In the Hause

Loved Ones frontman Dave Hause is playing a free show at the record store of his youth, Main Street Music in Manayunk, Saturday, February 26th. He is promoting his full length solo album, Resolutions, out now on Paper and Plastick Records. This has to be every music geek's dream come true. I mean, Mr. Hause certainly gets the hometown love whenever he plays in Philly, but seriously, to return to your record store and perform where your musical tastes were shaped and formed is really something special. Anyone who takes music and music collecting seriously has that shop of their adolescence where they spent oh so much time browsing the racks, searching for your next fix... Anyway, don't miss this opportunity for see Dave play some acoustic selections from his new record in a super intimate setting. We have also heard that Franz Nicolay, formerly of the Hold Steady (and additional tour member/studio musician for about 8000 other bands), will be playing a short set as well. For those not in the know, Main Street Music is approximately the size of your living room, and when they do shows there, the displays are simply moved to the sides and the leftover space is the performance area. Word on the street is that you should expect this to be crowded, so be sure to show up early; with the extra time, you can peruse Main Street's quality selection of new and used CDs, DVDs and vinyl. Try to spend a couple of bucks to show Pat and the other hooligans that run the store your appreciation for twenty years of indie record store goodness.

Dave Hause
Main Street Music
Paper and Plastick Records

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Snow More Delays

After being postponed a month and a half, the Bouncing Souls finally found themselves in a snow free Asbury Park last week and were able to commence with their Home for the Holidays (this year, with the subtitle Snowout Blowout) shows at the legendary Stone Pony. Because of the change in timing, several of the original opening acts were unable to play, and depending on your tastes and point of view, that could be fortunate or unfortunate.

For Mrs. Squeamish and myself, we were positively tickled pink (insert commie pun here) that the first show of the four night stand, which we would be attending, would be supported by none other than Pittsburgh's political punk machine, Anti-Flag. Taking the stage to "Die for the Government" from their first full length, these guys were in top form. Chris #2 was still only long enough to sing his half of the vocals, and in their half hour set, they laid down excellent renditions of the strongest material from each of their albums: "Turncoat," "Press Corpse," "Sodom, Gomorrah, Washington DC," "Drink, Drank, Punk." Souls bassist Bryan Keilen sang some impromptu backing vocals on "That's Youth," the song Bouncing Souls covered on their BYO split with Anti-Flag. "Power to the Peaceful" finished the evening, with drummer Pat Thetic once again hauling his skins over the barricade to play in the middle of the floor.

Coming out to the Rocky theme and a boxing style announcement that they would be playing the Good, the Bad and the Argyle in full, the Bouncing Souls finally took over for their annual celebration. For some Souls fans, this was probably a dream come true; for myself, not so much. Sure their debut album is a classic, but there are just as many misses on it as hits. However, we did get to hear "I Like your Mom" and "Quotes from our Favorite 80's Movies," and "Neurotic" and those were fun. After a brief intermission, the ring announcer and card girl were back to announce Maniacal Laughter in its entirety. This made the night. Solid front to back, Laughter is the pinnacle of the Bouncing Soul's early career, and it had been quite some time since I had listened to it straight through. "The Freaks, the Nerds and the Romantics" featured Chris #2 and Justin Sane doing backing vocals, the track they covered on the BYO split. Just before "the Ballad of Johnny X," singer Greg Antonito announced that there would be no encore, but as a special treat, the man himself, Mr. Johnny X, would come out and sing his own tune. That was more than a fair trade.

The Bouncing Souls held court at the Pony for three more nights, each one continuing through their discography. Thursday, the second night would have been my favorite, with the Souls crashing through their self-titled record and Hopeless Romantic. Two Philly bands made appearances with the Menzingers opening Thursday night and the Loved Ones being the main support Saturday, the conclusion of the four night stand. Hats off the Souls, who continue to tour endlessly. They looked exhausted Wednesday night, but still brought the party and gave fans another chance to see them more intimate venue than normal.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Hole in the Earth

We asked for it back in June last year, and it is finally our time, Philly. Deftones have announced the second leg of the American tour for what is our pick for the 2010 album of the year, Diamond Eyes. Last trek around, the Sacramento slayers were the opening act for a postmortem Alice in Chains. This time out, the Deftones are doing it right by headlining the Electric Factory on Tuesday, May 10th. The disturbingly heavy Mastodon joined the 'tones and AIC on Black Diamond Skye; this time, in a not-all-that-dissimilar move, Chino and company have tapped Jersey mental metal crusaders, Dillinger Escape Plan. This is the way it should be--a solid double bill who will leave the audience bruised and battered, mentally and physically. Surely some will come out just to see Dillinger; they have a loyal enough fan base on their own, so don't sleep on picking up tickets. Speaking of which, the new folks running the E-Factory have made an effort to open up their box office at the venue, where you can pick up your tickets without Ticketmaster's bullshit $11 per charge. Take the Electric Factory up on their kindness and help put Ticketmaster out of business.

For those willing to put a little extra effort into the thing, mapquest your way over to the Starland Ballroom in sunny Sayreville, New Jersey, where the tour stops the night after Philadelphia. This place is a little weird, it's in the middle of nowhere, parking is a bitch and it is always oversold. But if you work at it, this is an excellent venue for an even more intimate viewing experience.

Deftones
Dillinger Escape Plan
the Electric Factory
the Starland Ballroom

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The Ink and the Quill

An open note to New South Publishing:

It has come to our attension that you intend to republish The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn devoid of the terms "nigger" and "injun." We understand that because this particular book is rife with these epithets, and is required reading by such a wide range of school systems, you wish to provide a copy of the tome that is updated to today's sympathies and sensitivities. In response, we would like to say, way to go you gigantic dildos.

Have you ever even read Huck Finn? What in the holy hell is wrong with you? Are you able to comprehend the English language, or do you just see a series of letters and words and assume that you know what the fuck you're reading? While perhaps your intentions to be sensitive to African and Native Americans are in some senses noble, you are majorly misguided for two main reasons.

First, the story of Huck and Jim is that as they travel down the river, Huck slowly comes to realize Jim's humanity. Hence, Huck finally attempts helps Jim escape to freedom, regardless of the consequences, which would have been harsh to be sure. When Tom Sawyer is shot in the botched escape attempt, Jim sacrifices himself to remain with the boys, rather than continuing on to his path towards freedom. Huck, the most unlikely character in the book, un"civilized" and uneducated, rises above the expectations of society and proves himself a better person than any of the wealthy, land owning, learned individuals. Jim, the slave, the property, the chattel, gives more of himself than anyone else in the book and through his self denial, elevates himself above the viewpoint of society. As Huck and Jim follow the current of the Mississippi, the young boy's outlook is changed, and he is reborn free of the racist expectations of those who see themselves as attempting to curb his backwoods upbringing. Huck and Jim are the heroes of the novel; they are the two characters to be admired and emulated.

Second, Huck Finn was intended to be representative of the time in which it is set. Mark Twain wrote the novel well after the end of the Civil War, when racial relations were supposed to be improving. However, little had changed, particularly in the south, where blacks were still treated as less than second class citizens and had made few inroads into society. In most senses, they were still subjected to the will of "proper" society and hence continued to be treated as property, or worse, since now white people didn't even have a financial investment in black folks. The book is, in full, written in the language of the time, even to the extent that dialogue is spelled phonetically and slang, for good or ill, is intact. Twain intended for readers at the time to draw parallels between the setting of the book and the current time, and to realize that they could not simply pat themselves on the back for a job well done following the Emancipation Proclamation. There was still work to be done--people needed a wake up call that all was not well on the racial prejudice front.

The river, and the ensuing journey, are symbols of new life, as water always is in literature. To change the language, is to devalue to the premise that Huck and Jim are able to transcend the values and ideas placed upon them. Twain intended the n-word to be hurtful, hence why Huck's transformation is so amazing and carries so much power. Without the realistic tone of the novel, Huck's rebirth and Jim's selflessness lose their rather remarkable meaning. Twain's challenge to all of us is the same as it was for the audience at the time of publication; to realize our own society's limitations and shortcomings, and to rise against them. We here at I Hope You're not Squeamish urge you to reconsider your attempts to strip one of the great American novels of its meaning and soul. Don't be a bunch of ignorant cunts. Pretty please.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Independence Brought to you by these Sponsors

We are are going to start 2011 off on a negative note by being totally counterproductive and complaining about something about which barely even matters. For most people, the dawn of a new year represents the promise of the upcoming unknown; we are going to instead lament the passing of something great. Starting a few weeks ago the formerly great Independent Film Channel has changed formats, interrupting their programming with commercials every 15 minutes, just like every other shitty station. IFC will continue its mission of bringing the weird, and we will give them credit for continuing to not edit for content. However, watching a Gus Van Sant movie interspersed with Old Spice and freecreditreport.com commercials just seems to (a) be a contradiction and (b) make those kind of movies lose some of their power. For example, I was watching The Devil's Rejects* and the last scene, a montage set to Free Bird, was cut in half for two and a half minutes of ads. Maybe it's just me, but the scene was ruined; a shame since that is probably they only good use of Free Bird pretty much ever. The constant bombardment of advertisements makes watching a boring or slow-paced movie, but one that you are interested in seeing (what's up, Chapter 27) almost impossible as a boring two hour movie becomes a boring three hour (or more) movie. In an attempt to counter their moves towards becoming a normal basic cable channel, IFC has expanded the alternative television shows--the Ben Stiller Show, Portlandia, the Gary Shandling Show, Mr. Show and the addition of the Onion News Network, which is sure to be killer. While the addition of commercials will probably not hinder watching these excellent shows, since our minds are already acclimated to expect them during half hour/hour programming, trying to watch introspective movies and being constantly interrupted pretty much makes my mind think that I am watching Dumb and Dumber on TBS. Sorry. So, I will still watch IFC, but it will no longer be the first channel I check when I turn on the tube, and I will probably only watch something that I haven't yet seen. It's a shame because I managed to kill countless hours in the past watching flicks that I had seem once or twice previously and managing to wring a little more meaning out of particular scenes or lines. Gone are those days, because I just don't have that kind of patience. Thank god Netflix seems to have stepped up its "watch instantly" program, by expanding the kind of movies that you can view at a moment's notice on the computer.


*Just a side note to point out that the Devil's Rejects is probably one of the greatest sequels of all time. It helps that House of 1000 Corpses is in the top five horror movies made in the last ten years by upping the ante for the torture porn flick, by having perfect art direction (who would expect any less from Rob Zombie) and well developed characters--the killers were totally insane and original, plus the victims were easily despicable and you wanted them to die. The Devil's Rejects worked perfectly as a sequel because it gave new depth and dimension to the Firefly Clan and because Zombie didn't even try to match the terror and horror he created in the original. Instead, he went in a totally different direction by basically making a road movie with the same characters. By removing his mass murderers from their twisted haunted house where they were gods/monsters and putting them in our world, we saw their human weakness, something not explored in the first film.