Your Death Therapy Cured Me, You Genius!

So despite our desire to continue, and efforts to do so, this will pretty much be the end of I Hope You're not Squeamish.  We want to thank Philly for all the inspiration; we appreciate the opportunity to hang out for the last two years.  We hope that you, our few readers, have found some music or performance space that you enjoyed, or that you just chuckled reading one of our rants.  Please remember the charities, particually the local ones, the we have championed for the last 100 weeks.  Please continue to support them so that they may provide the valuable services and make our city a little bit better. 

When we move on to a new project (there are some ideas in mind), information will be posted here.  The events calendar will simply run out; we won't be adding anything new to it.  If you want to check back periodically, you will have to adjust your bookmarks back to www.ihopeyourenotsqueamish.blogspot.com as we will not be renewing the current .org domain when it expires.  Timing of that change will be posted in advance.  If you want to keep in touch, the ihopeyourenotsqueamish@gmail.com email addy will stay active and will be monitored.  We would love to hear from you. Thanks a lot, Squeamies!  Keep it gully.

love, yer pal,
mikey squeamish

In Brief: Our Unannounced Hiatus

Hey there, Squeamies!  This has pretty much been our longest break without a post, but we have been disgustingly busy uprooting our headquarters from the Roxborough location where we started to our new, more spacious digs down here on the East Falls/Germantown border.  So, sorry that we abandoned y'all without a the courtesy of a simple note to let you know where we were going, but we are back.  We have a inspired story that we are working on that will be posted in the next couple of days--it's one of our most super favorite ever!  Plus, we are going to add a whole buttload of events to the calander--lots of things coming up that you should check out.  Keep your eyes peeled and click on that bookmark this weekend. 

In the meanwhile, we have a show for you kids to attend that we shamefully just became aware of this morning.  Direct Hit!, those unhinged pop punksters from Milwaukee (Algonquin for "the Good Land" and the only major American city to elect three socialist mayors) are playing the Cracker Factory here in Philly, Tuesday the 9th.  Come and help them celebrate the release of Domesplitter, their first full length.  Made up of re-recorded versions of their extensive demos, Hit! is back as a streamlined trio (with guests on some tracks).  The Cracker Factory is a house show, so you have email the fine folks at Dead Industry to get the addy.  If you can't make it out to the performance to purchase it in person, do yourself a favor and pick up the record from Kind of Like Records for only 10 bucks, or you can download it using the name your price option.  Have fun and be safe if you are venturing out to the Cracker Factory!  We love you!
Fuck you!  Get Pumped!
 

Dead Industry
Direct Hit!
Direct Hit!  Bandcamp (for download)
the Cracker Factory  
Kind of Like Records

Nick Goes to Nashville

Nick 13
"Nick 13"
Sugar Hill Records
Released June 8, 2011




In order to give a review to this album, we must once again take a look at a genre from an outsider perspective.  Normally the leader of southern California psychobillies Tiger Army, as a solo artist Nick 13 is exploring his roots in traditional country music.  These tunes are an intentional throwback to the classic sounds from the 40's and 50's like Porter Wagoner and Slim Whitman.  Employing a lap steel guitar, brushed drums and the occasional fiddle, it is a far cry from Sugarland or Toby Keith or your pick of any pop country artist rotating on CMT today.  Instead, we are treated to some quiet, stoney introspective songs that explore Nick's softer side. References to Victrola, Route 101 in Cali, tattoos, disappointment, gambling and a wandering spirit show dedication to crafting something authentic and original, not just a cheesy, tongue-in-cheek reproduction.  Noticeably absent from this album is the dark, goth imagery that goes hand-in-hand with Tiger Army, despite the pair of songs redone from TA's albums. Even those have been given a thorough overhaul so their tone is completely in keeping with the theme of his solo debut.  Pretty much every track on here is a winner. 

On Tuesday night, Nick brought his road show to Johnny Brenda's in Fishtown.  We missed the beginning of the set because of extraordinarily bad directions from google maps (thanks a lot).  However, we saw enough to be unbelievably impressed.  He played the album plus two covers, but not the obvious choices that we predicted, instead choosing to expose the audience to lesser known artists (at least to the punk kids in attendance, myself included) like Ernest Tubb.  The show was not overly crowded and hence super intimate.  Sonically, it sounded exactly like the record.  Nick looked the part playing fifty percent of the show in a black suit, turquoise dress shirt and white neckerchief (no one could blame him for shedding the coat halfway through), with the rest of the band in varying degrees of hillbilly gear.  Nick's upright bass player was off the hook, caressing his instrument and dancing around with her like his square dance partner for the evening. Because of the size of the stage at JB's, the lap steel player was forced to the back of the stage with the drummer, but his sound was undoubted second only to Nick's voice as the predominate creator of ambiance for the evening. 

Milo goes to Philadelphia

One half of our feline mascot team, Milo Squeamish, just overflowed his litter box.  Announced this morning is the very first installment of Riot Fest East, Saturday, September 24th at Penn's Landing.  Traditionally, a three day event at a variety of Chicago clubs, several of the headliners have been announced as participating in the first attempt at taking the show on the road.  Of course, the (recently) reclusive Descendents (featuring Milo's namesake) are the biggest draw to this event, but with the Suicide Machines, Dead Milkmen, Hot Water Music and Naked Raygun in tow, this is a pretty big deal around here.  Not all of the support has been confirmed yet, but those that have are a whole bunch of other bands that people who are way more punk than me are going to be into (X, Samiam, Weston, Plow United).  A few locals (other than the Milkmen and Weston) are joining the festivities, most notably the Menzingers and the Holy Mess.  This seems to be dominated by a lot of bands that are either broken up or only play sporadically.  That is probably a good thing since standing outside in the sun all day at Penn's Landing can be a serious pain in the ass.  And since the headliners announced so far are pretty much all aimed at fans whose average age is twice that of Warped Tour attendees, they are making sure it is worth the old folk's time and effort.  Riot Fest promises that other acts are soon to be announced.  There are a couple of performers from the midwest installation that we would love to see come along for the ride, especially Helmet and ALL, who are performing in Chicago with all three of the gentlemen who have filled the lead vocalist position.  There have been rumors flying around that a Danzig fronted Misfits are going to be the big surprise announcement for Chicago, and if that's true, perhaps they may make their way to Philly? (I mean, it's not Jersey, but you can see Camden from Penn's Landing)  However, even if no one else notable was added to this bill, it would still be a solid lineup and worth the effort of getting crispy burned and paying $40 or more.  Tickets go on sale this Friday, June 24th.  We almost always try to hook y'all up with a way to avoid corporate surcharges, but since this is livenation and Penn's Landing, I don't this there is any way around it.  Sorry. 


 Riot Fest
Descendents
Suicide Machines (not up to date)
the Menzingers
the Holy Mess

In Brief: Nick 13

Just a quick note to remind you that Nick 13's show at Johnny Brenda's is still not sold out. The Tiger Army frontman is touring to support his new self-titled album of country tunes. We figure he will probably play the album in full (which includes two Tiger Army songs that have been totally redone) along with a cover or two--Zoltan predicts Johnny Cash, Hank Williams or Willie Nelson. There is only one opener so it's not going to be a late night. We will be doing a combination record review and show review since they will be remarkably similar, but trust us, Nick's record is the real deal as far as classic country is concerned. The show should be great if the youtube videos are any indication. Don't miss this chance to see a great musician who rarely tours, especially on the East Coast, in a pretty intimate venue. Hit up R5's box office at AKA Music to get your tix without a surcharge.

Nick 13
Johnny Brenda's
R5 Productions
Sugar Hill Records
Tiger Army

Felines Found!

Today we present a special guest post from Milo and Kamala Squeamish. (Today is Milo's 10th birthday!) Our mascot felines want to remind you all that June is Adopt a Shelter Cat Month.

According to the ASPCA, four million cats and kittens enter shelters every year. That's a lot more kittens than they can show on those tear-jerker public service commercials with Sarah McLaughlin tugging at your goddamn heartstrings. So imagine a channel that is dedicated to running that all day long, everyday with different animals each time. That is the reality. There are a couple of programs new to this year that offer you different ways to participate. If you are able to take in a cat, more than 100 shelters nationwide have agreed to drop their normal adoption fees for the month. Fresh Step will donate $1 for every "Like" on their Facebook page, so even if you aren't in the position to welcome a new kitty into your home, there are things that you can do!

We feel like there are a couple of topics that for some retarded reason remain "controversial," though the right answers are actually quite simple and most of the controversy can be reduced to willful ignorance. Combined with the fact that even progressive vets have a difficult time talking straight about some of these issues, they are often treated delicately. Not us--we are going to club you over the head with the truth. We stand by this as realistic and carefully considered advice for the well-being of the animal, without sparing the feelings of those who feel otherwise.

*Spay or neuter. Just do it. Don't contribute to the already overpopulated felines. You are not a breeder, and even if you do manage to find homes for all your kittens, you are reducing the chance of already sheltered cats being adopted.

*Feed a good food. Foods that have corn as their first ingredient are shit. Quality meals will reduce the risk of disease in the long run, even though it is more expensive up front. Look for chow that has a protein listed at the top. Buy it at a pet store, not the supermarket, if you can--sometimes they even stock locally made foods. (For example, here in Philly look for Annamaet.)

*Microchip your cat--it is cheap and can be done while your animal is down being fixed and can help when Professor Whiskers darts out the door unexpectedly. On that note, don't intentionally let your cat go outside. In the city and suburbs, they have to contend with traffic and in more rural areas, wild animals (birds of prey, larger felines and canines, etc.). You are just asking for a shorter time with your pet if you allow your cat to wander.

*Don't fucking declaw your cat. It is cruel and painful. You are not just removing the claw, you are cutting off bone as declawing removes the toe from the last knuckle on. It is a serious surgery that can take weeks to recover from, and if not done properly, can leave your cat with deformed and sensitive feet for life. And of course it hurts! Don't let insensitive assholes tell you that cats don't feel any pain from this, they do!

If you are hellbent on having a declawed cat, wait until one that has already had this unnecessary surgery is up for adoption.

*Finally, be sure that you are prepared financially for the short term and long term costs of having a cat. If they need any procedure beyond normal yearly vet visits, the bills can add up quickly. Medical care for animals is expensive, just as it is for humans. That being said, it is amazing what can done for your cat's health these days--almost any procedure done for a human can be done for a cat, as long as you can afford it. You owe it to the animal that depends on you to at least have modest savings budgeted for emergency care.

Much, much more information written by animal care professionals can be found at the links below. Please be sure to read about all the in and outs, what-have-yous of adopting a shelter animal. If you can't even take the time to do the research in advance, perhaps pet ownership isn't for you. When you take in an animal you are responsible for its quality of life. It is not something that you give away when you move or because you have a second kid. Your pet trusts you with its life, you better earn that trust.

American Human Association (nationwide)
ASPCA (nationwide)
Alley Cat Allies (nationwide)
Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society (P.A.W.S.) (Philadelphia)
Stray Cat Blues (Philadelphia)
Kitty Adoption Team (K.A.T.) (Philadelphia)
Annamaet

In Brief: Night Birds

We are pleased to introduce a new feature here at I Hope You're not Squeamish. "In Brief" will cover items that, while we may not go into as much detail as our normal features, deserve more than a link on the right. So, without further ado...

Those handsome and fearless gentlemen in Night Birds have been kind enough to release a track from their upcoming debut full length record. Fresh off the heels of the popular Draw the Night Birds Naked Contest, "Landfill Land" is one hot tamale. Clocking in a less than two minutes, it's a crash course in hardcore surf punk and is probably pretty representative of their expected-sooner-rather-than-later album the Other Side of Darkness. Keep your eyes peeled for it in the not too distant future on Grave Mistake Records. Also, these lunatics have decided to play a show at the Asbury Lanes and do the new record front to back, along with several other Jersey bands that are going to do the same thing. This is all ages at a bowling alley, so you definitely want to be there. For those of you not in the Jersey/Philly/NYC triangle, you too are in luck 'cause the Birds are out there sleazing it up on the Escape From New York tour, so check that shit out. We can't get off Night Birds' jock these days, but Fuck You, Surf Rules.



Night Birds
Grave Mistake Records
the Asbury Lanes

No Laughing Matter

Face to Face
Laugh Now, Laugh Later
Antagonist/People Like You Records
Released May 17, 2011





Though they haven't had a release since 2002, Face to Face manages to remain on pretty much the same trajectory that was interrupted almost a decade ago.  Following a string of solid releases in the mid to late 90's, Face to Face took a serious side-step on 1999's Ignorance is Bliss, deviating from their fairly straightforward punk tunes and embracing a more melancholy, mid-tempo sound.  The result was that while they still retained the muscle of their punk records, they found a way to be salient and introspective. A difficult line to walk, the risky decision surely cost the band some of its fan base, but it marked a new era for Face to Face.

Laugh Now, Laugh Later manages to bring the best elements of Face to Face's previous efforts, but tempers them with just enough variety to give the songs some drama.  There are plenty of "Hey!" and "Ohh-Way-Ohh" backing vocals and the super clean, chimey, open-sounding guitar is so familiar.  But the band continues their trend of not neatly fitting into stereotypes by writing more complex and challenging songs. These sound like tracks written by men, not punks.  Trever Keith has really come into his own as a songwriter by not (always) falling victim to the easy rhyme, but still not straying from the everyman blues that has consistently made up his lyrics.  "I Don't Mind and You Don't Matter" is probably the highpoint of the album, though it sounds like Keith might have burned two of his song titles on that one.  Particularly grabbing is the nonchalance with which he delivers lines like "I guess I should be sorry. I'm not."  "All For Nothing" and "Bombs Away" along with the two singles, "Should Anything Go Wrong" and "It's not All About You," are all fantastic tunes that sound exactly like Face to Face, each with their little twist.   [And we called it when we said the first single "Should Anything Go Wrong" sounded like the Bronx.  (See Up the Punx! (Social Security Checks))--None other than Joby J. Ford did the engineering for the album.]  Topped off by magnificent artwork by Corey Miller, Face to Face really deliver an excellent package.

Face to Face
People Like You Records
Corey Miller

Marathon Metal

Playing to a ridiculously packed house at the Electric Factory last Tuesday night, the Deftones challenged their audience to a test of endurance. You almost have to train for an event like this. Two hours long and approaching 25 songs, they punished the onlookers with the burly, thick superlow bass and down-tuned guitar shaking the whole venue. "Diamond Eyes" and "Rocket Skates" opened the night, followed by a slew of songs from 1998 or earlier. They continued on in that fashion for most of the night, tackling two or three song blocks from each of their records, the exception being Saturday Night Wrist which got only one selection. (A shame. That album is painfully awesome.) Dillinger Escape Plan vocalist Greg Puciato came out to sing the second part on White Pony's "Passenger," and following a feedback/speaker noise drenched five minute break (guitarist Steph Carpenter didn't even bother leaving the stage), they ripped through "Root," "Nosebleed," and, of course, "7 Words" to close out the night. At this point, the audience had been bested by the band, and considering the band made sure this was the most menacing portion of the set, the crowd could not muster the energy they had at the start of the show.

Accompanying much of the evening was a film playing on the backdrop. Grainy, sometimes overexposed and out of focus, it was a breathtaking horrorshow. It was like watching someone channel surf through nothing but late night B movies. The juxtaposed images, weird enough to be way open to interpretation, created frankensteins from pulp characters. Deftones openly admit that they strive to make the prettiest heavy music that they can, and coupled with the abstract movie, the band provided a chance for mediation, reflection and free association--probably the only band that came out of the nu metal scene encouraging you to think. Though Deftones remain guilty by association, they have long since moved on from their rap-rock roots forging ahead in a direction all their own.

Follow Your Nose

OK Philadelphia. Whatever the fuck you had planned for Friday night has now been officially canceled, freeing all of you to take advantage of a limited time experience. For one night only, surf punkers Dry Feet are teaming up with Philly's finest sleazy popsters the Tough Shits. This magnificent double bill is happening at a pretty new venue, so you are going to have to do a little (just a little) research to find your way there. You may remember that Dry Feet self released last summer's breezy dream Philadelphia Beach (see our review here) and the Tough Shits have been keeping us knee deep in gritty, throwback rock for several years now. Dry Feet have a new 7" out on Evil Weevil Records (though it contains no new songs, Boo!) and the Shits are starting to become more active after a little rest (maybe their new album will come out soon?) making this the hottest ticket in town. So get ready to leave real life behind this Friday night. Bust out your oversized magnifying glass, deerstalker hat and calabash pipe to find your way to this reelin' and rockin' show. Have fun, be safe and responsibly enjoy this new performance space. Don't be a dunce and miss out--we promise that there will be no better way to start your spring weekend.

the Tough Shits
Dry Feet
Evil Weevil Records